Sunday, October 9, 2011

Open letter to my son on the eve of his third birthday

Golly gee, look who's turning three! You are, my Little Green One, and I still can't quite believe it.

Three years into this Twain-esque sojourn into parenthood, and I can quite honestly and confidently say two things: It's never easy, and it's never dull. 

From the moment that tiny blue plus sign appeared on the litmus, you've brought out the best and worst in me -- from the rock-bottom lows of post-partum depression and colic, through the haze of sleepless nights and seemingly endless teething, tantruming and 'grining', to the exhilirating highs of first words, first steps, and all those unexpected little gifts you've sprung on me along the way. Every delirious kiss and nuzzle never ceases to make me feel like the luckiest woman alive.

From the moment that tiny blue plus sign appeared on the litmus, my life changed forever. Positive. A positive change -- no question. After 9 years spent deliberating, was I positive I wanted to do this parenting thing? Damn straight. It took a while for it to sink in that no one is ever really 'ready' to be a mom. You just do it. It is in the process of parenting that you become a parent.

Being your mother has made me delve deeper into myself, to do my best in spite of my inevitable imperfection. To go on giving even, at times, when it seems there is nothing left of me to give. In spite of everything I've read, before you came along, I never realized I could love so fiercely or heroically. And those revelations just keep on coming...

Like this morning over breakfast when you announced out of the clear blue sky, "Mommy is a really good woman". If I am, my darling, then it is because of you. And it is a privilege and an honour to watch you grow into the "really good man" I know you will one day become.